Thursday, October 6, 2016

A Case for Anger Management, Fear is There: You Have to Actually Hear Me to be Listening



"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." -  Marianne Williamson

Fear, Frustration, Sadness, Loss, and Guilt: Anger Does not Exist by Itself.....
This is a case for Anger management.

My anger comes from my frustration of not being understood, from people accusing me of doing things that I have not done long before they have usually given me the opportunity to explain myself. I have learned that it is reasonable for me to explain myself, but however hard I try, every one usually ignores whatever I had to say, only to impose their own ideas on me as to why I do the things I do. I am sick of it. RESPECT that I know myself better than you do. LET Me be responsible for my behavior! I have always been OCD, and I can be honest with myself. The situations in my life are for me to deal with. People always question 'why' I do what I do. I try to put my focus on what has been done so that I can reason it out on my own, but before I can come to an answer, people feel that they have the right to determine the reasons for me. They feel the constant need to insult me by not allowing me to speak for myself. They do not believe that I can.

My reasoning for anything I do is always well intended. I have always held on to humans make mistakes. As I have grown up, I have met people who managed to help me understand why I do the things I do. So, on some level, I have always had a basic understanding of why I do what I do. I have just not always had the knowledge available to properly communicate it

It wasn't until i was between 35 and 50 that I was diagnosed with ADHD. This diagnosis added a lot of relevant words and ideas to my personal situation. The light bulb came on, and everything they were telling me, may things I have suspected for a long time, began to make sense. I just didn't have the words to explain it until now. The frustration is Real. I STILL get frustrated when I do not think a person understands me, is IGNORING me, or is attempting to IMPOSE their own idea's upon me about why I do what I do.

There is a fine line though.....

Fear is that which is unknown, and it is a good thing to find out what you do not know. It reduces fear. It generates understanding. I have ALWAYS confronted my Fears in the hopes that I would better understand what it is that was causing me to be afraid. I learned a great many things. The first was to be careful who you accuse of causing you to be afraid. I learned that one early, at a carnival of all places.

Now, I am not saying that a person should not have a little fear in their life. Fear is an important emotion. Fear helps us to stay alert. We all Feel, we all have emotions, and it is, thus, unreasonable to say do not fear. Saying such a thing would be the same as telling someone do not have emotions. The idea is irrational.

The difference is whether or not the person is afraid. We can 'Choose' to run, or we can choose to stand our ground, which requires one to look directly at the thing they fear. Just because one fears something does not mean that they HAVE to run from it. That is the definition of being afraid. Attack your fear, and you will control your anger.

Test All Things, Hold on to What is Good, and discard the bad.

Don't forget to hold on to what is Good.

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